What kind of parent am I? I had the benefit of taking several child development classes in college after having children, so I was able to really apply what I was learning to my own life. I know I am an authoritative parent with authoritarian tendencies. On days when I haven't had enough sleep or work is completely overwhelming or something is keeping me from being rational (hormones, anyone?), I become my father. It's not pretty. (Freud would love that, eh?) But generally I like to think I hold my own when it comes to being fair and reasonable most of the time.
So where are the fair and reasonable parents in the media? It seems like every parent on TV is just nuts. TV moms range from the Toddlers in Tiaras and Dance Moms types to Parenthood's hyper uptight Kristina Braverman. Roseanne was fairly reasonable (albeit gruff) in the late 80s through most of the 90s. So where are the normal moms who deal with laundry and bullies and don't wear make up every day (or any day, if you're me)? Where are the moms who don't cut each other down or one up each other or any other stereotypically nasty TV mom pranks? And please don't tell me that reality TV is the answer. Kate Gosselin certainly wasn't. And as much as I respect Michelle Duggar, there has to be something magical in their well water because that woman is WAY too calm if you ask me. (Okay, I really admire that about her and wish I had half her calm.) And I've never watched those "Poorly Behaved Women of (insert state here)" shows, so I can't really comment on them.
Maybe the media doesn't notice us because we're boring. We all struggle with the same basic issues: How do I juggle all of my responsibilities and commitments and still get dinner on the table? How do I keep up with the spotless house next door? How do I get the kids to listen without yelling all the time? And, to a certain extent, we all are guilty of listening to the parenting "experts" on various news shows and holding ourselves up to their standards.
What if we rewrote the standards? What if we ignored the labels and stopped worrying so much about the neighbors? What if we just focused on what our own standards are and what works for our own families instead of the families the experts expect us to have?
I might sleep better at night!
Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
It's a...!
David and I went to Maternal Fetal Medicine late last week. It was definitely a mixed bag of emotions. The last time I was there we were dealing with bleeding in the 11th week with Andrew. At that point we left feeling much happier. Little did we know what we'd be dealing with several weeks later.
I've spent this entire pregnancy telling myself we're having a girl. I was afraid to wish for a boy. I didn't want to replace Andrew or do anything to sully our brief memories of him. I had convinced myself a third daughter would be wonderful - we'd go through the princess phase again, have tea parties, and learn about dinosaurs (because I am a feminist, after all!). I imagined pink and tutus and the whole nine yards. And I loved it.
But when I allowed myself to be honest, usually while lying in the dark and praying, I knew that my heart wanted to hold a baby boy. I wanted to give G a brother and David another son. I wanted trucks and dirt and chaos and soccer.
I went into the appointment saying, "I know it's a girl. I know I'm right". The tech, in a rather stoic way, told me she'd do her best to tell us what she could see. First, though, we had to measure everything. Nearly two hours of measuring the heart and lungs and head of our baby. When she got to the heart, I found myself in tears. It was beating. Strong. Andrew's had stopped beating and the last time I saw it, it was still and quiet. As this baby wiggled and rolled, squirmed and smiled, we got a glimpse into our future with this child. A little mouth opened and closed, an arm raised a finger and pointed.
And at that moment, I didn't care if we were going to be team pink or team blue. I was firmly and solidly in love with whatever God had given us. And I was grateful.
I had almost forgotten our request to know what to expect when something flashed on the screen. I thought I knew what it was. David definitely knew. The tech smiled and assured us there was no doubt about it. This baby is a BOY. A BOY. There were tears... bittersweet, happy, grateful tears.
The next task was to tell the kids they were having a brother. And I'm not one to do things without a little drama. So I made them this:
I've spent this entire pregnancy telling myself we're having a girl. I was afraid to wish for a boy. I didn't want to replace Andrew or do anything to sully our brief memories of him. I had convinced myself a third daughter would be wonderful - we'd go through the princess phase again, have tea parties, and learn about dinosaurs (because I am a feminist, after all!). I imagined pink and tutus and the whole nine yards. And I loved it.
But when I allowed myself to be honest, usually while lying in the dark and praying, I knew that my heart wanted to hold a baby boy. I wanted to give G a brother and David another son. I wanted trucks and dirt and chaos and soccer.
 |
| 23 weeks. A perfect smile. |
And at that moment, I didn't care if we were going to be team pink or team blue. I was firmly and solidly in love with whatever God had given us. And I was grateful.
I had almost forgotten our request to know what to expect when something flashed on the screen. I thought I knew what it was. David definitely knew. The tech smiled and assured us there was no doubt about it. This baby is a BOY. A BOY. There were tears... bittersweet, happy, grateful tears.
The next task was to tell the kids they were having a brother. And I'm not one to do things without a little drama. So I made them this:
Their reactions were priceless. But more on that another day.
Doing it Differently... maybe?
I've started to come up with a list of things I want to at least attempt to do differently this time around. We're in a different place financially, socially, and environmentally. We're also a very different family than we were even a year ago. Dynamics have shifted since we lost Andrew and - at least for me - I've redefined what I value and think of as vital when it comes to the kids. There's no telling if I'll actually do any of these things, but I want to spend some time over the next 14 weeks giving them some serious thought.
1. Cloth diapers.
Pros: Environmentally friendly. Much cheaper than disposable diapers. Supportive friends.
Cons: I already struggle with the insane amount of laundry we generate. Lack of support from family.
Compromise: Use cloth at home and during short jaunts out. For longer days out, use disposable. Insist the kids continue to do all regular laundry, but I will do diaper loads.
To Do: Learn about the different types of diapers out there. What detergent do people use? Do they line dry or use the dryer?
2. Jarred food.
Pros: Cheaper. More control over preservatives, dyes, etc. I won't ever have to buy anything from Gerber. (That's another story... for another day.) Kids could potentially be supportive and helpful.
Cons: Time (or lack thereof). Storage. (I'm not very good at freezing things.)
Compromise: Establish a list of foods that can be made in small batches (squash, banana) and supplement with organic baby foods. Find things that we eat as a family that can easily be turned into baby food. (Applesauce in the fall.)
To Do: Borrow baby food cook books or find recipes online. Look into containers and storage methods.
3. Babywearing
Pros: I did this with the girls, so I know it works. G, however, was a wiggleworm and not only did he refuse to be "worn", he refused to be confined to a stroller.
Cons: It takes me forever to recover from my delivery, so wearing won't be something I do for at least 6 - 8 weeks post partum.
4. No TV before age 2. (This includes electronic devices in general)
Pros: Better for baby's brain development. Keeps the noise level down during the day, reducing (my tendency toward) overstimulation issues.
Cons: I actually ENJOY toddler TV. Max & Ruby, Charlie & Lola, and Little Bear were my favorites. The fact that the kids liked them, too, was just an extra added bonus.
Compromise: Focus on keeping the first floor TV off as much as possible. Keep the first floor TV tuned to only toddler safe programming (no Justice League, gory news shows, or excessive American Pickers viewing... American Pickers will be the hardest thing to tone down. Love all of those silly shows that focus on retro stuff.)
5. Sleeping in the crib, NOT our bed
Pros: We sleep better without the kids in our bed. K has sleep issues and I believe they're related to the 2 - 3 years she spent sleeping with us.
Cons: It's sooooo lovely to just doze off while nursing a sleeping wee one.
Compromise: I fully intend to nap when the baby naps. Housework be damned! (For a few months, at least!) Maybe I can get my naps in a little easier if I let him sleep with me during naps? Or will that make the crib transition more difficult at night?
6. Successfully mastering the bottle and breast feeding method.
Pros: I can run to the grocery store or to a meeting without taking the baby with me. This is less disruptive for the baby and easier for me, therefore less stressful for everyone. The kids will also be able to take part in the feeding process and I think they'll enjoy that.
Cons: I hate (HATE HATE HATE) the smell of baby formula. I also hate how expensive it is. So I'll have to establish a pumping schedule and I am not good at schedules.
Compromise: Remember that the nursing years are short and fleeting. If the bottle feeding never takes off (never did with the younger two), remember that. Even when it drives me nuts, remember that he's only going to be little for a very short period of time and I don't want to miss any of it.
7. Developing a schedule for the baby despite the chaos of the older kids.
Pros: It's so much healthier for munchkins to have schedules. It's also a way of forcing me to say NO occasionally.
Cons: Flexible kids are so much happier. The reality is I'm going to have to deal with soccer and Scouts and the associated chaos.
Compromise: Focus on a daytime schedule, maybe? The older kids leave for school at 7:30 and come home at 3:30. That gives me 8 solid hours to establish nap and feeding schedules. Then insist on being home by 8:00 so we can do our bedtime routine? Maybe?
I hope that 6 - 9 months from now I revisit this and find that I've made peace with these things. I hope I tried all of them, adjusted accordingly, and didn't allow myself to wallow in a puddle of guilt for even a second for the things I wasn't able to do.
1. Cloth diapers.
Pros: Environmentally friendly. Much cheaper than disposable diapers. Supportive friends.
Cons: I already struggle with the insane amount of laundry we generate. Lack of support from family.
Compromise: Use cloth at home and during short jaunts out. For longer days out, use disposable. Insist the kids continue to do all regular laundry, but I will do diaper loads.
To Do: Learn about the different types of diapers out there. What detergent do people use? Do they line dry or use the dryer?
2. Jarred food.
Pros: Cheaper. More control over preservatives, dyes, etc. I won't ever have to buy anything from Gerber. (That's another story... for another day.) Kids could potentially be supportive and helpful.
Cons: Time (or lack thereof). Storage. (I'm not very good at freezing things.)
Compromise: Establish a list of foods that can be made in small batches (squash, banana) and supplement with organic baby foods. Find things that we eat as a family that can easily be turned into baby food. (Applesauce in the fall.)
To Do: Borrow baby food cook books or find recipes online. Look into containers and storage methods.
3. Babywearing
Pros: I did this with the girls, so I know it works. G, however, was a wiggleworm and not only did he refuse to be "worn", he refused to be confined to a stroller.
Cons: It takes me forever to recover from my delivery, so wearing won't be something I do for at least 6 - 8 weeks post partum.
4. No TV before age 2. (This includes electronic devices in general)
Pros: Better for baby's brain development. Keeps the noise level down during the day, reducing (my tendency toward) overstimulation issues.
Cons: I actually ENJOY toddler TV. Max & Ruby, Charlie & Lola, and Little Bear were my favorites. The fact that the kids liked them, too, was just an extra added bonus.
Compromise: Focus on keeping the first floor TV off as much as possible. Keep the first floor TV tuned to only toddler safe programming (no Justice League, gory news shows, or excessive American Pickers viewing... American Pickers will be the hardest thing to tone down. Love all of those silly shows that focus on retro stuff.)
5. Sleeping in the crib, NOT our bed
Pros: We sleep better without the kids in our bed. K has sleep issues and I believe they're related to the 2 - 3 years she spent sleeping with us.
Cons: It's sooooo lovely to just doze off while nursing a sleeping wee one.
Compromise: I fully intend to nap when the baby naps. Housework be damned! (For a few months, at least!) Maybe I can get my naps in a little easier if I let him sleep with me during naps? Or will that make the crib transition more difficult at night?
6. Successfully mastering the bottle and breast feeding method.
Pros: I can run to the grocery store or to a meeting without taking the baby with me. This is less disruptive for the baby and easier for me, therefore less stressful for everyone. The kids will also be able to take part in the feeding process and I think they'll enjoy that.
Cons: I hate (HATE HATE HATE) the smell of baby formula. I also hate how expensive it is. So I'll have to establish a pumping schedule and I am not good at schedules.
Compromise: Remember that the nursing years are short and fleeting. If the bottle feeding never takes off (never did with the younger two), remember that. Even when it drives me nuts, remember that he's only going to be little for a very short period of time and I don't want to miss any of it.
7. Developing a schedule for the baby despite the chaos of the older kids.
Pros: It's so much healthier for munchkins to have schedules. It's also a way of forcing me to say NO occasionally.
Cons: Flexible kids are so much happier. The reality is I'm going to have to deal with soccer and Scouts and the associated chaos.
Compromise: Focus on a daytime schedule, maybe? The older kids leave for school at 7:30 and come home at 3:30. That gives me 8 solid hours to establish nap and feeding schedules. Then insist on being home by 8:00 so we can do our bedtime routine? Maybe?
I hope that 6 - 9 months from now I revisit this and find that I've made peace with these things. I hope I tried all of them, adjusted accordingly, and didn't allow myself to wallow in a puddle of guilt for even a second for the things I wasn't able to do.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
A Thousand Years
Last night I sat at the dining room table, staring at my son. Freckles and sun covered cheeks. Blue eyes that look nothing like my brown. Soccer shirt tucked oddly in the band of his Umbros. Sometimes I have no idea how I had anything to do with creating him.
He was telling me about recess. Who knew second grade recess was so structured.
"I played kickball, but Patrick played punt and catch. The girls just talk. Bleh."
"Oh. What's punt and catch?"
Both he and my husband sighed, sharing a secret guy look. "You kick the football, the other guy catches it, and then kicks it back. Geesch, Mom."
And it occurred to me I don't know what little boys do. G has reached the "without Mommy" stage and has been there for the last 18 months. Growing up, my own little brother was 6 years younger than me and I didn't spent much time getting to know him. (My loss.) So I don't know this stuff, despite having been a parent for the last 15 years. Ask me about American Girl Doll stuff, though, and I've got you covered.
"Well, you know, buddy, I've never done this before."
They all stared at me over their Alfredo.
"I've never had a little boy. You're it. You're the first. You're my guinea pig, bud."
J sniffed indignantly in the chair next to me. Apparently I wounded her sense of eldest child superiority.
Then we cleaned up dinner (well, except for a stray glass of milk which is still lingering on the dining room table reminding me I'm a slacker) and they went on with their evening. I headed to work for a board meeting. On my way down the hill I started picturing what it would be like to raise another boy. I thought about how that is what I'm supposed to be doing right now, but Andrew wasn't meant to grow up and would forever be a baby in my mind. And then "this one" kicked me. Hard.
"I know. I know you're there," I reassured her. She flipped over and seemed to find a comfy spot against my bladder.
And then, for the first time in the 20 weeks I've been pregnant, I started to think about how this baby will fit into this family. Until now I've felt like keeping this baby at a distance was safer. I've only pictured coming home empty handed again, having to face diaper bags I'll never use and a little yellow outfit from Gymboree being packed away in the box next to Andrew's. Another set of ashes on the bookshelf, tugging at my heart every day.
But instead I started to picture this baby: Brown eyes, this time, maybe? And dark, curly hair like mine. Or maybe she'll look just like her siblings with their honey brown hair and striking blue eyes. Maybe this baby will actually eat veggies, unlike her big brother. Where will we put the high chair? What kind of stroller should I get this time? How are we going to still do everything we currently do and make sure this baby still gets to be a baby? What are we going to NAME this baby?
Then this wicked cheesy song came on the radio:
He was telling me about recess. Who knew second grade recess was so structured.
"I played kickball, but Patrick played punt and catch. The girls just talk. Bleh."
"Oh. What's punt and catch?"
Both he and my husband sighed, sharing a secret guy look. "You kick the football, the other guy catches it, and then kicks it back. Geesch, Mom."
And it occurred to me I don't know what little boys do. G has reached the "without Mommy" stage and has been there for the last 18 months. Growing up, my own little brother was 6 years younger than me and I didn't spent much time getting to know him. (My loss.) So I don't know this stuff, despite having been a parent for the last 15 years. Ask me about American Girl Doll stuff, though, and I've got you covered.
"Well, you know, buddy, I've never done this before."
They all stared at me over their Alfredo.
"I've never had a little boy. You're it. You're the first. You're my guinea pig, bud."
J sniffed indignantly in the chair next to me. Apparently I wounded her sense of eldest child superiority.
Then we cleaned up dinner (well, except for a stray glass of milk which is still lingering on the dining room table reminding me I'm a slacker) and they went on with their evening. I headed to work for a board meeting. On my way down the hill I started picturing what it would be like to raise another boy. I thought about how that is what I'm supposed to be doing right now, but Andrew wasn't meant to grow up and would forever be a baby in my mind. And then "this one" kicked me. Hard.
"I know. I know you're there," I reassured her. She flipped over and seemed to find a comfy spot against my bladder.
And then, for the first time in the 20 weeks I've been pregnant, I started to think about how this baby will fit into this family. Until now I've felt like keeping this baby at a distance was safer. I've only pictured coming home empty handed again, having to face diaper bags I'll never use and a little yellow outfit from Gymboree being packed away in the box next to Andrew's. Another set of ashes on the bookshelf, tugging at my heart every day.
But instead I started to picture this baby: Brown eyes, this time, maybe? And dark, curly hair like mine. Or maybe she'll look just like her siblings with their honey brown hair and striking blue eyes. Maybe this baby will actually eat veggies, unlike her big brother. Where will we put the high chair? What kind of stroller should I get this time? How are we going to still do everything we currently do and make sure this baby still gets to be a baby? What are we going to NAME this baby?
Then this wicked cheesy song came on the radio:
And I realized I'm finally falling in love with the idea of having a baby and letting go of the fear of losing her.
(I always think of this baby as a girl because it helps me distinguish between the pregnancies. We'll know in a few weeks.)
Monday, March 12, 2012
How much has changed...
So this baby will be our fifth. Granted, there are all but 10 years between G and this baby, but it's all the same, right? I have the basics covered: I know how to diaper and burp and swaddle and bathe. I'm prepared for 3 - 4 months of sleepless nights. I know better than to fall into the marketing traps that make me believe that the latest and greatest gadget will make my life easier. (The heart beat bear, the light up mobile, the wedge that keeps babies on their sides... I am sure there are oodles of new ones.) I've dealt with Colic and reflux. I've dealt with choking (scary!!) and pink eye. I breastfed successfully and for well beyond the year that the doctor recommends. I've potty trained, weaned, and tracked down lost socks. I'm the queen of deftly avoiding, ignoring, and circumventing temper tantrums. I'm even almost come to terms with the c-section recovery.
Every time I visit a baby related website, I read articles - or at the very least I read headlines - and I remember how voraciously I read the exact same things 15, 12, and 8 years ago. Now I look at them and find them feeling... recycled. Babies don't change. Baby gear only get shinier and more complicated, but the function is the same. So what am I going to find to read about pregnancy that I haven't read before... or that won't scared the flibberty jibbets out of me? Hm.
Every time I visit a baby related website, I read articles - or at the very least I read headlines - and I remember how voraciously I read the exact same things 15, 12, and 8 years ago. Now I look at them and find them feeling... recycled. Babies don't change. Baby gear only get shinier and more complicated, but the function is the same. So what am I going to find to read about pregnancy that I haven't read before... or that won't scared the flibberty jibbets out of me? Hm.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Sorry, folks, but bratty kids don't make me want to buy your stuff
So I was snuggling with G this morning, folding laundry, watching Cars on DisneyXD, and generally enjoying a very rare slow morning. And suddenly THIS lands in my living room:
I didn't give it a second thought. BUT then I got this in response.
In this email, Cliff accuses me of hating rap. Maybe not my favorite form of entertainment, but that wasn't even the point. He misses the point entirely. The. Kid. Is. Rude. And that kind of behavior isn't okay. The ad told me nothing about what this Zui site has to offer other than obnoxious behavior. I'm thrilled they've created jobs and created a kid-safe site... but do they have to perpetuate bratty behavior to get kids to log on?
I replied:
So Zui.com? Get better marketing folks...
***Updated***
Seriously? Obnoxious kid rapping his way into my living room. Not okay. So I sent an email to this Zui.com site:
Subject: Commerical
Just a quick note to let you know I just saw the commercial on Disney XD this morning and I will NEVER let me children use this site based on the obnoxious behavior in that ad. I don't care how great your site may be or what it offers, I will not support a company that perpetuates that kind of behavior and attitude.
Disappointed
Mother of 4
I didn't give it a second thought. BUT then I got this in response.
Barbara:
My name is Cliff Boro; I am the CEO and Co-Founder of Zui.com. Your email to our customer service team was forwarded to me.
While I am of course sorry to hear that you have an issue with our advertising, I am surprised by your email. We are currently running two commercials, each featuring a very-talented 9-year old boy (known as MattyB). One commercial is a “directors skit”, and it’s a song about Zui.com and he’s acting like a kid-star. The second commercial also positions Matty as a child-star but it’s actually about his new song “That’s the Way”. I’m not sure which commercial you saw but please know that Matty is actually a star on YouTube — his videos have now been seen over 100 million times. He has been celebrated on the Today Show and elsewhere — not just because of his talent — but because all of his songs and videos are positive and about kids/people empowerment. While we are not affiliated with any religion as a Company — please know that Matty describes himself as a “Christian rapper”.
Here’s a sampling of some of Matty’s work:
1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLFE0-yCU94 (His music video that we are advertising)
2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9b7y9UYt_fM&feature= related (MatyB celebrating his sister)
3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gYSVd6Uizk (Matty with puppies)
I would like you to also know more about Zui.com. Our company has spent over $15 million dollars to hire hundreds of teachers and parents across the country to review over 5 million appropriate videos, games, images and YouTube videos for kids. To our knowledge, we’ve created the largest selection of kids-appropriate content in the world. Our products have been honored at the US Senate and I personally was honored by the White House in September for Zui.com as a “Champion of Change”. We’ve also been recognized as the innovator in making the Internet better for kids, receiving numerous awards and honors.
We live in a free country and you are certainly entitled to form whatever opinions you’d like, and to parent your children in the manner you deem appropriate. However, please know that we are extremely proud of our products and our advertising with MattyB. Our passion and purpose is to make the Internet big, fun and safe for kids — and Matty is all about entertaining kids (and grownups) by spreading positive messages about kindness, love and tolerance. He happens to use rap as a medium — but I hope that you don’t blame that art form for his message.
In any case, I do thank you for writing to us. I hope that you will re-consider your position on MattyB and our Company. However, in any case, I do hope that you find a way to give your kids the best aspects of the Internet in a manner that suits your ideals and values.
Sincerely,
Cliff
Clifford T. BoroCEO and Co-Founder phone: 858-777-8200 email: cliff@zui.com
In this email, Cliff accuses me of hating rap. Maybe not my favorite form of entertainment, but that wasn't even the point. He misses the point entirely. The. Kid. Is. Rude. And that kind of behavior isn't okay. The ad told me nothing about what this Zui site has to offer other than obnoxious behavior. I'm thrilled they've created jobs and created a kid-safe site... but do they have to perpetuate bratty behavior to get kids to log on?
I replied:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvnMCtZQLLc
This is what I saw this morning on Disney XD. The beginning section where he demands "complete control" was on Disney XD shortly before I sent my original email. This child says - and I quote - "old people yell get off the internet". Really? Old people? Controlling the internet? I thought that was our JOB as parents. So these insulting and rude lyrics are being hurled into my living room and the result is supposed to make me want to allow my children to visit your website? And I am supposed to trust your site to have any sort of values? What values is that commercial teaching? "It's okay to insult parents and belittle their rules as long as I get my own way"? Children imitate what they see online and on television. That commercial, that attitude, and that general sense of entitlement are not behaviors I will ever value. I couldn't care less which form of music he uses to advertise your site; what's frustrating is that the first time I've seen this child, this is the image he's been told to project at the hands of the adults around him.
In general my children don't watch much television because they are involved in sports, church, and Scouts. When they do, it's been recorded on TiVo and commercials are immediately skipped. Your ad was only an issue today because they have a day off and my son and I were watching a movie together before he went to a friend's house. The joy of living in a free country is that I can and will have the opinion that this is not behavior I want my children to copy or a business I want to support. I used it as an opportunity to teach my 8 year old that behavior like that will get him nowhere in our home. So maybe a thank you is in order... thank you for this ridiculousness as it allowed me to take 20 seconds out of my day to remind my son what behaviors will and won't fly in this house. And thank you for the lovely conversation my husband I had about whether DisneyXD is a channel will will continue to let the kids watch. It's always good to reevaluated and re-filter what enters our home.
So Zui.com? Get better marketing folks...
***Updated***
Barbara:
Thank you for the additional information and perspective. The ad is intended (and us usually enjoyed) as being “tongue-in-cheek” -- it speaks to kids from the vantage and attitude of a “star rapper” -- but it’s clear as the ad plays out that this is a lovely kid telling kids to go to a website that has great things for kids. Most parents tell us that they don’t have nearly enough energy or time to curate the Internet for their kids and they love that we do this for them. As you must know as a parent of four children — kids like what kids like. If we told kids to visit Zui.com because it’s safe and only has content that has been vetted by teachers — no kids would come. The whole ad campaign is about a great kid telling other kids to visit the site — in a language and tone that kids get.
I wish you and your family well — and although we seem to disagree on our advertisement and approach, I nonetheless sincerely appreciate your taking the time to express your thoughts.
Sincerely,
Cliff
Clifford T. BoroCEO and Co-Founder phone: 858-777-8200 email: cliff@zui.com
Thursday, March 8, 2012
View from the Parking Lot
Sitting outside my children’s school. Apparently there was some sort of stranger situation during the after school program yesterday. My kids don’t go to the after care program... but oddly, I am not the only parent here, working away on a laptop and watching as the kids skitter and jump and generally goof around.
I bought an outfit for the baby today. Little, yellow, simple. Probably not a big deal, really. It was on super-clearance at Gymboree. But now I don’t know where to put it. What few things I had stored away for Andrew are tucked among my socks in my top dresser drawer, but it seems odd to put his things with the new baby’s things. All of his pictures and hospital bands and the cards we were sent are in a box in the top of my closet. I guess it makes sense to let the new baby use her (or his) brother’s things, right? I don’t know. Are there rules for this sort of thing?
In other news, I scheduled J’s first college visit. COLLEGE. She’s almost 15. I know we have time, but I also know my daughter. She’s not one to warm quickly to things, so the idea of college and dorms and the responsibility that comes with all of it will take her a very long tim to wrap her head around. She wants to go into theatrical engineering. And at almost-15, I think that’s a great thing to aspire to. She knows she needs to be a strong math student to go into any sort of engineering and given that she’s carrying a 97 in freshman algebra, I think she’s got that in the bag... for now.
K served at the 7:00 Mass last night. I had to work, so I snuck in late. I was just in time to hear the priest talk a bit about listening for God in the silence. I have to find the silence first, though... because nothing is my life exists without noise. I’m working on reducing the noise - the visual noise on my calendar as well as the clutter and chaos that surrounds me. Is there a 12-step program for that?
The kids are getting lined up and ready to hop in the van. I have to steel myself against the noise of a second grader who needs at least 20 minutes of chaos to unwind after a full day of school. Too bad I can’t find God amongst the insanity... if I could, He and I would talk nonstop.
The kids are getting lined up and ready to hop in the van. I have to steel myself against the noise of a second grader who needs at least 20 minutes of chaos to unwind after a full day of school. Too bad I can’t find God amongst the insanity... if I could, He and I would talk nonstop.
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