I sobbed as I listened to these parents. And for three minutes, as I watched, I relived my own loss. I'm so grateful to know it is being talked about - that it's not a banished conversation. Andrew changed us. For nearly 20 weeks, we thought about him as a family. We planned for him as a family. We loved him as a family. And as a family, we are stronger and better for having had that time.
I will always feel conflicted. We found out we were expecting Connell within weeks of losing Andrew. We know we're lucky. Had Andrew lived, I wouldn't have my happy little shadow. Andrew would be my happy little shadow, I suppose.
I know there's a plan. I have faith there's some kind of logical reason for all of this. (The sun came out for the first time in two days when I typed those words.... so yeah, there's a reason.) I miss Andrew. I'm grateful for him. And I'm lucky to be his mother.