Thursday, August 23, 2012

+17 Days. And Life is Good.

Connell James, several hours old.  

Connell James joined us on Monday, August 6.  8 lbs, 2 ozs.  Fuzzy ducky fluff atop his noggin, hazy undefined eye color peeked out from the cradle of his father's arms.  I remember hearing him cry for the first time and I, in my drugged haze, couldn't stop saying, "He's alive.  He's alive!  Make him cry more!"  And as I lay there, tethered to the operating table, strangely aware of the surgery happening on the other side of the curtain, I found myself revisiting the last time I was there and the stark contract between those moments.

In the days since Connell's birth, I've healed in a lot of ways.  I've started to let go of the pain of losing Andrew just a little.  And I've forgotten what it's like to live in a house without the ever present sounds and chaos of a newborn.  The delivery and recovery were much easier than I could have ever dreamed of.  The adjustments have been easy so far, but I'm well aware that the novelty will wear off the the "Bigs" (as I've started calling them) will stop being so wonderful and helpful.

I have a list of things I plan to write about once the Bigs go back to school next week:  I plan to revise my c-section recovery plan (because holy moly, it was so much better this time!), chronicle the joys of finding ways for a family with a 15.5 year age span to operate as a family, the fun we had our with our 5-day-old photo session, the journey to choosing Connell's name... and lots of other things.  But right now we're going to enjoy the dwindling days of Summer 2012 and the early days of what is bound to be Connell's amazing life.

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