Wednesday, January 4, 2012


You know what I haven't done with this pregnancy in the month that I've known about it?  Hope.  So far I've:

Dreaded the thought of another loss
Mourned the failure of my last pregnancy
Doubted my ability to actually do this
Cried (a lot) over how I'm going to tell my family without hurting my sister
Feared every twinge and tingle
Denied myself the happiness that should come with pregnancy

So here's what we're going to focus on now:  new verbs.  Now I'm going to:

Pray because it brings calm and strength
Love this baby because s/he's a gift
Celebrate what's going to happen
Enjoy the coming months, because there's no knowing what they're going to bring
Hold the memory of my youngest son and my nephew close

But mostly I'm going to hope..

For a healthy child
For a successful pregnancy
For a healing and love for my sister

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